Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Out Of My Car

Just when I thought people couldn't get any weirder...

When I met a new person at work, I thought she was a perfectly sane individual. We chatted for a while, and found out that we live near each other. After we had known each other for all of about thirty seconds, she said she wanted to ask for a favor.

A favor? Oh sure, it's the least I could do for you. The last thirty seconds have been some of the best of my life, and I feel obligated to reciprocate. Please let me know how I can be of service.

She asked if I could give her a ride to or from work sometime. Actually, that's a lot better than what I was expecting. Sure, I didn't mind giving her a ride. It was a little rude to ask that of someone you just met, but she knew we lived near each other, so in a way it made sense. I said I'd be happy to give her a ride.

However, things were much worse than they appeared. I'm a bit fuzzy on how the details unfolded, as half of my brain was frozen with disbelief at the time, but it turns out that I had heard her wrong. She wasn't asking if I could give her a ride one of these days; she was asking if I could give her a ride TO AND FROM WORK EVERY DAY INDEFINITELY. She didn't have a car, having sold hers recently. Apparently the solution was not to buy a new car, but to appoint some random stranger as her chauffeur. I guess I just didn't realize that's how things work these days.

Is it just me, or is it insanely ridiculous to ask that of someone you just met? She's very nice and I know she didn't think for a second that it was too much to ask for, but let's see if I can explain why it is.

• I don't know her. The strength of your relationship with someone determines how much you can ask of them. Thirty seconds of casual conversation entitles you to ask something like "please pass the napkins," and that's about it.
  
  
• This is what a restraining order is for. Seriously, this meets the Wikipedia definition of stalking: "Statutes vary between jurisdiction but may include such acts as:
  • repeated physical following (check)
  • unwanted contact by letter or other means of communication (check)
  • observing a person's actions closely for an extended period of time (to work, at work, and from work, check)
  • contacting family members, friends, or associates inappropriately" (she asked other associates in the office, so check)
  
  
• I have other things to do besides driving her around. Do I have to change my schedule to accommodate hers? What if I wasn't going straight home after work? What if I went to pick her up in the morning and she wasn't there? This could get old very fast.
  
  
• This could easily be avoided if she bought a new car when she sold her old one. What would the world be like if everyone mooched off of others like that? If she decided to go hitchhiking, at least the drivers could ask her to pay for gas.
  
  
• As long as I'm going to be her chauffeur, why don't we move in together? Why don't we get a dog and a cat and send out Christmas cards together?

As if sensing that I wasn't thrilled with the terms of the deal, she said that if there was some reason I couldn't do it, she could "walk a long way to the bus." Goodness, is that a guilt trip? But anyway, I did get out of it. She found someone else at the office to give her a ride (someone she actually works with and knows better). And she thanked me for being willing to help.

Hey, I have no problem with helping someone in need, I just think there are lines that need to be drawn. She's still without a car, and still getting a ride every day from this Good Samaritan who is not only driving her around, but using his connections to try to arrange a good deal on a car for her. Now that's first-class service. I wonder if I could get him to do my cooking and cleaning. After all, this is apparently the land where miracles happen, if you just ask for them.